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The Inebriation Proclamation
Shanks For The Memories
One day we'll look back on this and plow into a parked car... 
7th-Oct-2010 06:24 pm
SWEET JESUS!
Looking for inspiration from my past led me to read some VERY old LJ entries of mine.  Why didn't you fuckers tell me how much of a spazz I was?  I mean, seriously!  "Midgets, donkeys & hot sauce" I said.  O_O  WTF, me??  WTFlyingF?  You know, when I started this journal, I actually had dial-up.  DIAL-UP!!  Lawl.  Well, I got 0% ideas for the story from all that, but it was fun.  And enlightening.  "STDs are like Pokémon: you gotta catch 'em all.  My favorite is 'It Burns When I Pikachu.'"

So every once in a while, my dog Harley will get into the garbage.  He is a dog.  He does these things.  However, this last time made him so ill that we feared for his life.  Let's just say we were having to take him outside every half hour or so for a while there.  He was so weak I had to help him up onto the porch and into the front door almost every time.  My fierce little man just doesn't get sick.  Some probiotic in water and two days of boiled rice later and he's all better.  Of course now if I see one member of my family giving him human food, I scream at them before tearing them in half.  Here he is doing another activity that he loves: pimpin'.

Pictured:  Not Rick James, bitch.

I'm shifting back to my media duties for this, the most important holiday season EVER!  (Best Buy in-joke.  Sorry.)  And what makes this the most important holiday season for me?  Katie got a job at my store!!  *flail!*  If you have a question about computers, come ask her and watch her get all flustered because she's only been doing this for two weeks.  It's adorable!

You know, I really need to lay off teh Facebooks.  I'm neglecting LJ for one, but I really feel like it's crushing my creativity.  That's a big deal for me!  It's all I haaaaave!  Well, that and a sweet, sweet mustache.  Speaking of mustaches, ever play the Mustache Game?  Of course you haven't because you've never lived with Shawna.  I've got to tell you though:  I really love coming home and inspecting all the pictures in my room to try to find a mustache.  My poster of Ville Valo looks especially sketchy.  And awesome.

You're asking if I'm done yet.  The answer is fuck you.  And yes.  Thanks for reading, everybody!
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